Contents
- 0.1 Why am I attracted to older girls than me?
- 0.2 Can a man love a woman 20 years older?
- 0.3 Why do younger guys like older ladies?
- 0.4 Can a younger man truly love an older woman?
- 1 Why am I sexually attracted to old people?
- 2 How to flirt with an older woman?
- 3 Does attraction fade with age?
- 4 At what age are you sexually attracted?
Is it normal to be sexually attracted to older woman?
Yes, a younger man falling for an older woman is more common than many think. There are many reasons why younger men fall for older women, but most commonly, he admires her maturity and experience associated with being an older person.
Why am I sexually attracted to older woman called?
Gerontophilia is the primary sexual attraction to the elderly. A person with such a sexual preference is a gerontophile or gerontosexual. The word gerontophilia was coined in 1901 by psychiatrist Richard von Krafft-Ebing. It derives from Greek: geron, meaning ‘old person’ and philia, meaning ‘friendship’.
Why am I attracted to older girls than me?
Why am I always attracted to older ladies? Women in their 30’s typically have more self-confidence, they’re more established in life (and with themselves), and they’re more open & honest about what they want in life and in a relationship.
Can a man love a woman 20 years older?
5 min read Nov.27, 2000 – On a gorgeous Sunday morning in 1980, a man we’ll call Jack Nussbaum rode his motorcycle down the California coast to see a woman who was interested in buying his Arabian horse. Olivia Rogers (not her real name) was a successful doctor, separated from her husband and the mother of four teenagers.
From the moment Jack and Olivia met, they couldn’t stop talking. Morning turned to evening. She didn’t buy his horse, but he was smitten. “I never asked her age,” says Nussbaum, a software developer in San Francisco. “I figured she was probably a dozen years older. It didn’t matter to me because she was young of mind and spirit.” In fact, she was 55 and quite convinced that, at 35, he was far too young for her.
“The age difference was always an inhibitor for her,” he says. “She figured this was never going to last.” Twenty years later, they’re still together. They’re in a committed relationship and very much in love. She’s 75 and a retired pediatrician in good health; he’s 55 and continues to work.
- Over a lunch of Chinese food, Nussbaum positively beams as he describes the merits of being involved with an older woman and, in particular, Olivia.
- Twice divorced, Nussbaum says he had developed a habit of trying to tell women who were his age or younger how to live their lives.
- The first time I opened my mouth to say something to Olivia about what she should do, I stopped,” he recalls.
“Here she was this utterly charming, competent doctor who’d raised four children. Who was I to tell her anything?” He says, “It was a lesson: I was with a mature and powerful woman.” Falling in love with a woman 10, 15, 20 years older, or more can be exhilarating.
These so-called age-gap relationships with the woman as the senior partner are more accepted now than in previous times, some observers say. Even so, making the relationship last involves tackling some thorny – and sensitive – issues. Among the common trouble spots, experts say, are differences over whether to have children, anxiety over body image and sexuality, and coping with reactions from peers and family members.
“You can end up with a large gap in understanding,” says Judith Sherven, PhD, co-author of The New Intimacy : Discovering the Magic at the Heart of Your Relationship, “The older person is going to have less energy eventually and may not be interested in exploring new things.
The younger person may want to rock and roll all night and hang out with younger people the older person finds boring.” The degree of discord depends on how each partner feels about the differences: Are they fascinating or frustrating? The most romantic question, according to Sherven, is “Can you teach me who you are?” Asking that can help bridge the gap brought about by the age difference.
“The differences between people are always opportunities to expand psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually,” she says. Sherven recalls a man who was 15 years younger than his wife and going through a period of work-related anxiety, “His wife said, ‘I remember when I went through that,'” Sherven says.
- She said it with compassion.
- She could offer a different perspective by virtue of her seniority.” If an older woman offers wisdom and experience, a younger man offers new ideas, particularly about gender roles, says Diane Smith, 44, a registered nurse in Urbana, Ill., who is married to a man 14 years her junior.
“I find men my age still looking for the wife that is supposed to take care of them,” she says. “I personally wanted a man who could and would take care of himself.” Divorced with three daughters who are 20, 13, and 10 years old, Smith wasn’t interested in having more children, and that was fine with her new husband, so they avoided that potential conflict.
But it took her a while to believe he would choose her 40-year-old body over that of a younger woman. “The body image thing is really a hot spot,” she says. “Women just can’t understand why a man would want an aging woman when there are all those fit, cutesy young bodies out there. Most men who want an older woman see those cute girls as young and dumb.
They thrive on the sophistication, experience, and knowledge an older woman brings to the relationship.” Women’s sexual energy is said to peak at age 40, and Smith has found this makes a 40ish woman like themselves a perfect sexual match for a younger man.
“There’s this thing at 40 where all of a sudden there’s more interest in sex,” she says. “There’s this feeling of, ‘Hey, what did I miss out on?'” Unlike younger women who are raising children and are often too tired for sex, older women, at least those without young children, are often ready to devote themselves to a vibrant sex life, she says.
“They’re more willing to experiment, more relaxed,” she says. And sexual compatibility can endure, says Jack Nussbaum, even as the woman moves toward old age. “I wouldn’t be with Olivia all these years if I weren’t happy in that area,” he says. “It’s very important to me.” While an older man may look for a younger woman to make them feel virile and powerful, an older woman doesn’t consider a younger man a status symbol, according to Smith, who hosts an online chat group about age-gap relationships,
“It isn’t an ego thing with women as it is for men,” she says. “It is finding someone who will love them and be their best friend.” Far from showing off a young mate – the way an older man might do – Olivia Rogers feels so self-conscious about being older than Nussbaum that she refuses to socialize with his friends.
When he published a novel, she threw him a party at her house and happily invited her friends and her four children. But when he hosted a publication party in San Francisco for his friends, she chose not to attend. “There are compartments in our relationship, but through the years we’ve adjusted,” Nussbaum says.
- Chief among the partitions is that they keep separate residences.
- We’ve never lived together – for me, that’s been a great frustration,” Nussbaum says.
- I think she’s concerned that if we live together, I’d end up in the caretaker role and she couldn’t stand that.” Even though women live longer on average than men, older-woman/younger-man couples, like older-man/younger-woman couples, must face the question of mortality.
“In all probability, I’ll lose her rather than she’ll lose me,” Nussbaum says. There’s no better reason to savor the experience, he says. “We’ve had 20 glorious years of ‘This will never work,'” he says. And what is his reaction to that constant reminder by his long-term partner? “Let’s live every day.”
Why do younger guys like older ladies?
01 /7 Check out these interesting points! – It is no surprise that men tend to gravitate towards older women because they marvel at their maturity and sense of independence. There are certain things in older women that younger men admire a lot. Older women’s ability to handle situations efficiently is what pulls men in.
What type of man likes an older woman?
2. Such men are inclined toward maturity and competence – Another common trait amongst men who like older women is that they seem to prefer emotionally mature women. Studies like this show how and why men and women are attracted to maturity, and it is no surprise that maturity comes with age.
A mature woman knows what she wants to do with her life and isn’t as anxiousThere is less relationship drama born out of jealousyThey are more dependable and competent in their day-to-day livesA mature woman can teach him a few things about the world
Can a younger man truly love an older woman?
Are relationships between older women and younger men doomed? Or can they work? Age should not be a barrier to love and companionship. There is no reason why a relationship between an older woman and younger man cannot work long term, provided both partners are committed and willing to put in the work.
Why am I sexually attracted to old people?
Why Am I Attracted to Older Men? 8 Expert-Backed Reasons
- 1 You’re biologically hardwired. Some studies suggest that younger people have an evolutionary pull toward older men. Some of this relates to genetics—theoretically, older men have higher status and more resources at their disposal. Because of this, you might be drawn to physical features that signal this status. You might be totally enamored by his:
- Salt and pepper hair
- Classic style
- Crows feet and wrinkles
- 2 You crave stability. Most people spend their younger years figuring themselves and their lives out. Older men have already worked through all of this; and in fact, they’re probably well-established professionally, financially, and personally. If you’re attracted to that, that makes total sense! Success can make you feel protected in a relationship—like if you needed help, he could take care of you. Specifically, you might like:
- That he’s super successful in his career. He might be able to discuss fascinating career wins and personal knowledge.
- That his home or apartment is well-furnished. He’s had years to create a curated environment, and you might love that.
- That he’s settled financially. While a younger man might still be taking financial risks and building up his savings, you might appreciate that he has extra cushioning.
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- 3 You’re attracted to maturity. Older men have had time to figure themselves out—he’s probably happy with himself and his choices. Because of this, he’ll likely struggle less with insecurities that can hurt your relationship. So you know those mind games that younger men play? He’s not interested in them. And if you’re into that kind of composure, that makes sense. He might also:
- Be honest with you about his feelings. He’s not likely to hold back in an effort to keep you guessing. When an older man is interested, he’ll probably tell you.
- Respect your ambition. Less insecurity means less of a chance that he’s threatened by your success. He might be more likely to support and celebrate your career.
- Understand his role in a healthy relationship. An older man has been in great relationships and bad ones. He knows what he needs to do to make this relationship a great one.
- 4 You’re tired of men your own age. After tons of bad dates with immature guys, it makes sense that you’d be looking for greener pastures. If you’re suddenly only interested in older men, it could be because you’re turned off by bad experiences with dates your own age. Subconsciously, you might be looking for a way to avoid the same heartbreak or frustrations. Specifically younger guys might’ve been:
- Unfaithful
- Unwilling to commit
- Poor communicators
- 5 You like their sexual experience. It can take years to come into your own sexually. If you’re attracted to older men, you might just like that they know exactly what to do and exactly how to do it. After years of practicing their moves, pleasing their partners, and reflecting on their own sexual desires, your older crush might just be exceptional between the sheets. That makes total sense!
- Because older men might be more secure in themselves, some might be more comfortable with your sexuality, too.
- Specifically, if you have certain things that you really like, he might be totally comfortable meeting those needs.
- 6 You’re looking to get married or have kids. Most older men know what they want in life—they’re not still taking time to figure themselves out. Because of this, they might be more likely to make serious commitments, unlike younger men. So if you’re ready to get married or to start a family, it makes sense that you’d be attracted to people who want the same thing. Oftentimes, shared relationships are what makes a relationship built to last. So you’re starting with a great foundation!
- Older men are also more likely to already have kids themselves. You might be attracted to this, too. Maybe you love how much he cares for his little ones. That’s a sweet quality!
- 7 The attraction might be mutual, so it happens naturally. Maybe, when you think back, it’s not always you pursuing older crushes. Studies show that when older men get divorced, they tend to seek out younger partners. So in that case, it not might be that you’re especially attracted to older men. Instead, they might be seeking you out—and because for you, the attraction happens to be mutual, you’re ending up in age-gap romances.
- 8 You appreciate old-fashioned dating norms. Maybe the texts, the 3 am calls, and hook-up culture generally just doesn’t appeal to you at all. You might just love the idea of flowers on a first date, car doors held open, and sweet, traditional romance. Older guys who grew up in a different generation may be more capable of giving you this.
- In short, maybe it’s not that you’re especially attracted to older men; more so, you’re attracted to their style of romance.
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: Why Am I Attracted to Older Men? 8 Expert-Backed Reasons
How to flirt with an older woman?
9 Ways to Flirt with an Older Woman over Text
- Set a and tone right from the start. Most women regardless of age dislike a boring opener like “Hey” or “Hi.” Get creative and send her something that shows her you were thinking of her. If you have a history or you have any inside jokes, text her something that’s specific and special to your relationship with her. It’ll and warm her up for some fun flirting.
- For instance, you could try, “I was just driving around listening to Edith Piaf and thinking of you.”
- You could also try, “Have you ever dated someone more than 10 years younger than you?”
- Use straightforward textspeak that she’s more likely to understand. If she hasn’t been keeping up with popular text abbreviations, she might not get a message like “WYD.” Go ahead and text her the full, “What are you doing?” just to play it safe.
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- Ask questions to, An older woman probably has a lot of rich life experiences that you can ask about. This is a fantastic way to get to know her. You might about places she’s traveled, unique experiences she’s had, or jobs she’s had in the past.
- Try something like, “What was your first job?” or “What is your favorite country that you’ve ever visited?”
- You could also try, “I’ve never gone skydiving. I’m too chicken! Have you? Are you daring like that?”
- Once you get the ball rolling, it’ll be easier to flirt with her. Plus, you may be able to use some of the details she tells you. For instance, if she talks about how much she loves chocolate, you could say, “Have you ever tried chocolate with red pepper? Spicy and sweet, just like you!”
- A selfie or even a nude could spice things up. Just because she’s older than you doesn’t mean she won’t be interested in getting hot photos from you. Text her a of your smiling face and she might send you one in return. If you feel really comfortable texting her or you’ve been texting each other for a while, take a chance and send her a more risque shot of yourself!
- Try adding a caption like, “Do you like what you see?” or “How do I look?”
- If you’ve just started texting her, you may want to hold off on a fully nude photo until you’ve gotten to know each other and she seems open to it.
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- Be genuine and make her feel good about herself. Talk about something that she does really well and give her props for it. If you want to appearance or something physical about her, go with something specific so it feels more genuine. Steer clear of vague or backhanded compliments like, “You look hot for a woman your age!”
- For instance, you could text, “You’ve got incredible hair. It’s always salon quality” or “You’re so fit and strong! Your biceps are insane.”
- You could also stick to her professional accomplishments and say, “I bet you’re an amazing lawyer. I wouldn’t want you suing me” or “No wonder you’re a great real estate agent. You’re so charming.”
- Use a little cheekiness to get her to, Older women might be a little more guarded than younger women so flirt with her to break through her defenses. Text her something cute, fun, or naughty to see how she responds.
- Try something innocent like, “Why are you so cute?” or “How are you so perfect?”
- You could also try, “What would you do to me if I was there?” or “What are you wearing?”
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- Keep it fun and playful to show her you feel comfortable. Try a little push-pull where you give her a teasing backhanded compliment. Use exaggeration to gently pick on her and make it clear that you’re joking. Then, say something sweet to lighten the mood and show you’re interested in her.
- Try sending, “That sounds like a fun night! I remember my first glass of wine” or “I can’t talk to you anymore, you’re just too much trouble for me.”
- Used properly, emojis can be an effective flirting tool. Pepper in some smiley face and to keep the conversation friendly, but don’t be afraid to spice things up. An eggplant or a devil face emoji can add an extra layer of flirtation to your texts. Emojis are also great since they’re more straightforward than popular textspeak, which she might not be familiar with.
- For instance, if she asks something like, “What are you having for lunch?” You could say, “I wish I was having you” or “I’d rather be with you” and add a devil face emoji or a smiley face with the tongue sticking out.
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- Blowing up her phone could make you, An older woman probably has experience with a needy partner and you don’t want to seem thirsty! It’s fine to double-text occasionally, but don’t send 3 messages back to back. Wait for her responses—after all, flirting is a two-way street.
- Keep your messages and sweet so you can save longer conversations for when you’re face-to-face.
- If you forgot to mention something, you can always text it later, after she’s responded.
- Avoid sending messages like “hello?” or “you there?” or “?” if she takes some time to respond. It could make you seem pushy.
- Save sexting for a woman you really know well. Some women, especially ones you just met, might be turned off by suggestive language. However, if you’ve been flirting with a woman you know well and think she’d be receptive, go for it. The key is to see how she responds to your messages. Use them as a guide to either keep sexting or clean it up.
- For instance, if she quickly texts back with a flirty, sexy message, she’s probably open to more sexting. If a lot of time passes before she responds or she starts talking about something else, she’s probably uncomfortable with it.
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- Question Is it okay to lie about your age in a relationship? Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. ‘NYC Wingwoman’ offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth. Lying about your age isn’t a great idea. You’re basically starting the foundation of your relationship on a lie, which is never good.
- Question What should I know about dating an older woman? Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. ‘NYC Wingwoman’ offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth. Don’t tell her age, if you can. Definitely don’t lie—just try to avoid the question with a clever comeback, like “Not old enough to be an awesome guy.” Keeping your age a secret allows her to get to know you for who you are.
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Advertisement This article was co-authored by and by wikiHow staff writer,, Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. ‘NYC Wingwoman’ offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps.
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Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 261,003 times. : 9 Ways to Flirt with an Older Woman over Text
Why am I attracted to a woman 20 years older?
Jason Momoa and wife Lisa Bonet made headlines last week when Momoa recalled how he was a “nervous wreck” when he initially asked Bonet out on a date. Momoa was just 26 years old at the time, and approaching Bonet, who is 12 years his senior, was intimidating.”,
- When you meet someone you’re completely infatuated with and then find out she’s amazing, intelligent, and funny and she’s a goddess and you’re a degenerate,” he told Men’s Health,
- Momoa worked up the nerve and the two have been together since.
- What is it about older women? It still seems more common for men to seek out younger women, but one of TODAY’s most-read stories continues to be this post on why younger men fall for older women.
We’ve celebrated the long-term relationships between actor Hugh Jackman, who is 13 years younger than wife Deborra-Lee Furness. Then there’s French President Emmanuel Macron, and his wife Brigitte, who is 24 years older. But it’s not only younger famous men who understand the attraction to mature women.
In “Older Women, Younger Men: New Options for Love and Romance,” authors Felicia Brings and Susan Winter interviewed more than 200 men to discover the allure of the so-called “Mrs. Robinson syndrome.” You’ll be surprised at what men find appealing about older women, “I’d do it again? Definitely, no question.
Oh yeah, and once you’ve done it, you definitely look at older women in another way.”—Nick, 33 We’ve made our position known and shared the thoughts and experiences of the women to whom we talked. Now it’s time to let the men speak for themselves. One important question we asked was what they felt an older woman has to offer. French President Emmanuel Macron and his wife Brigitte Macron greet members of the public at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, DC, on April 23, 2018. Alex Wong / Getty Images “I met Karolina at a party given by some friends. When I saw her, I thought she was just the perfect woman for me and I was sure about that.
- I wasn’t looking for an older woman and Karolina wasn’t looking for a younger man, but it just happened.
- I was 39 and she was 55 then.) Our relationship is unique, because it’s not just built on sex, but on trust, respect and love.
- We are both morning people and nearly always in a good mood.
- We are both hard-working with many hobbies in common.
In my opinion, age has nothing to do with our relationship. In our twenty-five years together, we have never had a serious problem and we are still very happy.”—Paolo, 64 “Pat is very special. Not only is she beautiful, but she has a wonderful sense of humor and is very giving.
The ability to talk about anything with her was refreshing and engaging. In fact, when I first met her, I didn’t know I was attracted to an ‘older’ woman. I knew she was older than I, but I didn’t realize the disparity in age until she told me (which didn’t happen until a couple of dates into our relationship).
Pat offered me space, devotion and herself, which I couldn’t find in anyone else. I take better care of myself now. She is a best friend who reflects back to me what a good person I am, which builds my confidence and self-esteem. I now have a better job and feel better about myself than ever before.”—Neil, 35 Nigel, at 37, finds himself attracted to older women, in part for their clarity and substance and also their relaxed attitude about life: “I find that I’m attracted to a woman who has some degree of self-possession.
- I like the stimulation of a sharp intellect.
- I enjoy sitting down to dinner with someone who has a level of conversation I can appreciate and enjoy.
- I think younger women are sometimes too focused on starting families and that is rarely an issue with older women.
- I’ve always had relationships with older women.
They know themselves. They have so much more to offer and they are looking for different things. They are not just looking for guys who will be good fathers and providers. Older women can be more playful. They are more relaxed. It’s really a personality thing for me regarding what is attractive.
I enjoy a confident attitude and older women definitely have the upper hand in that area.” Dan, age 24, also expressed a similar theme: “When I meet a woman over 30, she’s usually very clear and focused. She knows what she wants in life and it makes being with her so much easier. I look at a lot of my friends who have girlfriends their age and younger and the problems they have strike me as ridiculous.
They frequently act foolish and immature. I don’t have time for that behavior—that’s why I like mature women.” That life experience is sexy was also a repeated theme: “Just the fact that there’s so much to learn from an older woman, that they have so many more life experiences to draw upon, is an adventure to me.
It’s like a rush.”—Vincent, 31 Some young men saw themselves reflected back in an older woman and realized the woman’s own specialness: “She was very beautiful and caring and we had similar interests. She offered me the opportunity to see another perspective on a lot of different issues. I mean, older women think differently on certain issues and they’ve got more experience.
I grew up a lot with her. Yeah, definitely, she helped me to grow up. She made me realize how important I could be in making someone else happy. Not that I was doing it for her, but just being with her.”—Art, 27 Fred, age 28, told us what qualities attracted him to older women: “The experiences in life that they’ve had make them more grounded and realistic.” When asked what a mature woman offered him that he couldn’t find in a younger woman, Fred answered: “Emotional stability. Need I say more? There have been nothing but positives in my relationships with two older women. They were able to see things in me that I could not see in myself.
Also, there were levels of honesty unlike anything I’ve experienced even with best friends.” Fred gave us a wealth of information over several interviews. Open, upbeat and extremely handsome, he revealed the enormous love and respect he shared with his former partner and now shares with his current partner.
Fred’s first older-woman experience occurred when he was 21 years old and Gretchen was 37. They lived together for two years. They are both still very close and see each other regularly. Not only did they have a tremendous friendship as the basis of their relationship, but an extraordinary sex life as well. Actor Hugh Jackman and his wife, Deborra-Lee Jackman attend an event in New York City. Jackman is 13 years younger than his spouse. Getty Images file After his relationship with Gretchen ended, Fred tried dating girls in their early 20s. He explained, often quite humorously, how ridiculous he felt trying to have meaningful conversation over blaring music at a dance club.
His brief experimentation with younger females only reaped endless head games, confusion and immature behavior. Resolutely, Fred abandoned the “young woman trial period.” He knew he liked older women and that was his standard. He decided this time to accept it. His next relationship was with Marla, a co-worker.
They were great friends and then she began to pursue him. Why not? he thought. She was older. Maybe it would work. But Marla’s flaw seemed to be that she was only five years older — and for Fred, that still wasn’t enough to produce the kind of emotional maturity and depth for which he searched.
- After a year or so of taking a “time-out,” Fred met Lynne.
- She is 10 years older.
- Fred’s respect and appreciation of older women was clear when he spoke: “The way mature women carry themselves shows they know who they are.
- It equates to stability.
- They’ve already figured out who they are.
- Maybe not all the time, but a lot more often than younger women.
They are all-around much more attractive to me. “Also, they are much more experienced with life. You know this is the kind of person who’s going to tell you exactly what they want and they are more sure of themselves than the people my age or younger. Older women are much more well rounded — they know what they feel and why they feel it.
- It’s easier to have a relationship with an older woman, because she knows how to communicate what she wants.
- It has a snowball effect all the way around.
- I have a preference for women starting at about 10 years older than myself and up.
- It’s adventurous for both of us, because it’s a whole new exciting journey.
Younger women just don’t allow me to grow in the ways older women do.” Not all older woman/younger man relationships last forever, but Fred’s answer to how he handled the ending of his relationship with an older woman was especially insightful: “I went on with my life and took with me many memories and experiences that made me mentally and emotionally rich. Certainly, there are challenges for the men as well as the women in these relationships. For example, the issue of having or not having children came up repeatedly: “My first relationship with an older woman — I was 20 and she was 36 — lasted two and a half years.
My second — I was 28 and she was 41 — lasted three years and we lived together for one year. The main thing that attracted me was the overall calm of an older woman. There is a frenetic energy with a younger woman that can be very exciting and very cute, but not for my personality. Neither of my relationships was about being mothered.
Both women were professionals, very focused on their work lives and extremely confident and sure of themselves. That was very attractive to me.”—Lenny, 38 Ultimately, Lenny’s last relationship ended when he wanted children and his partner of 43 did not.
Of course, the issue of “Will I want children later on?” has become a less significant challenge to a relationship between older women and younger men than it has been in the past. In vitro fertilization by donor eggs and other reproductive methods have greatly changed the fertility prognosis for older women.
Pregnancy at ages once reserved for “miracles” is now a medical possibility. Other challenges for the younger men occurred in the form of disapproval and criticism from friends and colleagues similar, although not as severe, to what the older women experienced.
- I got more of a reaction from men than women.
- The men my age and older were jealous that I was with her.
- They would look at me as if I had something they wanted and didn’t have and, because I was younger, they reacted more strongly.
- And women my age disapproved of the relationship.
- Every morning, I would wake up happy and feel like I had the world on a string.
I guess some of these people thought I was trying to prove something — I wasn’t. Our relationship just made me feel great. She was great! I was proud of who she was and what we had together.”—Barry, 26 Overall, however, it seems that such criticism is not as big an obstacle for men in these relationships as for women.
- In fact, some men received support and admiration from peers and co-workers.
- Friends and colleagues all admired my decision to have a relationship with a mature woman.
- They respected what I had with her, which was an emotional connection with an experienced, centered person.
- Most people’s reactions have been good.
There have been no negative attitudes or comments given to me that stick out in my head. Actually, many people have asked my partner and me for advice.”—Patrick, 34
Does attraction fade with age?
Generally, an 80 year old person is not perceived to be as physically attractive as a 20 year old, independent of how long this person has been in a relationship. So the attraction will decline with time independent of relationship duration, because of age alone.
Is 15 years a big age gap?
Emotional maturity – “Even if the age gap is small, like 4 to 5 years, different levels of maturity can be observed,” says Brandy Porche, a licensed professional counselor with MindPath. “When there is a significant difference in age, like 10 to 15 years or more, life experiences can be vastly different.” In relationships with a large emotional maturity gap, the more mature partner could end up carrying a heavier emotional load in the relationship, leading to exhaustion and potentially a breakup.
What is the maximum age gap between lovers?
What Is an Acceptable Age Gap Between Partners? It’s an age-old question. It’s a debate that I’ve seen divide dinner tables of beautiful left-wing sex-positive smokers. It’s a question—not surprising, given the general premise of this — taken up by Carrie and company as they investigate the latest drug of choice in the New York dating scene in season one of Sex and the City: younger men.
Indeed, the age-gap relationship is a scenario we’ve all seen play out terribly, seen work beautifully, and judged harshly from afar. And the thing that divides, creates disaster, and inspires judgment is not simply a difference in number—it’s a difference in power. Now there’s a general rule that always starts this game.
The equation, of course: Half your age then add seven to work out if someone is too young for you to date; take seven off your age then double it to work out if someone is too old for you to date. The problem is that where love, sex, and romance are concerned, an equation can’t always provide you with the answer.
Desire and attraction are not the same as basic math. Many would argue for the legal line: that if all parties are of consenting age and are able to fully and actively consent, then there’s not a problem with age-gap relationships of any pairing. But much like the equation, this line of thinking doesn’t take into account the difference in power between an 18-year-old and a 68-year-old, and as we know the law is rarely created in favor of the more vulnerable, in reality it’s worth a little more consideration.
When I was 17, I had a short relationship with a man in his 60s. Then, it felt good—the sex was great, we were both totally consenting, and of course we never went public with it. Behind our closed doors it felt like we were some kind of equals because even though the power dynamic was askew, who held that power so often shifted between us.
- Yes, there is a power dynamic to be reckoned with in a, but debates about age gaps often assume that the dynamic we speak of is simply one-way: The older person has all the power; the younger person is exploited.
- In my experience, the older person in the relationship has the power of experience, sure, but the younger person has the power of youth, of access to culture now.
When I dated older men, I derived a certain power from their desire for me, and it really turned me on. In turn, I felt taken care of, like I was learning at the hands of someone who had more life experience than me. I used to say, “Old men fuck, cook, and talk better,” and, in many cases, it was true—especially when my dating pool was a group of confused, shame-filled late-teen, early-20s gay men with late-onset emotional adolescence, just like me.
Does a 15 year age gap work?
Conclusion – In conclusion, age gap relationships bring unique challenges and opportunities. While they may face criticism and judgement from society and loved ones, they can also provide a deep connection, understanding, and love between partners. To make a 15 year age gap relationship work, partners must be willing to communicate openly, compromise, and respect each other’s differences.
- They should also remain flexible and adaptable as their relationship progresses, remembering that age is just a number and that happiness and love are timeless.
- Sexual health is as important as physical and mental health.
- In most cases, one consultation can go a long way.
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Talk to our Experts : Exploring The Pros And Cons Of 15 Year Age Gap Relationships
Do guys prefer girls who are younger?
1. It Gives Them An Ego Boost – Image: Shutterstock Many men would agree that they are visual creatures. Many alpha men feel they are ‘out of form’ if they can’t date younger, and stereotypically, more attractive women. They do not want to lose out to younger men or to lose face in front of men their age. Fun Fact A 2020 large-scale mate preference study across 45 countries showed that men prefer younger and attractive women while women prefer older and financially stable men ( 1 ).
Can you be attractive at 40?
The truth, however, is that there’s no age limit on looking good —in fact, as you get older, you might just find yourself feeling more confident and more attractive than ever. However, if you haven’t reached that pivotal point of self-acceptance yet, read on to discover how to look better after 40.
Can a 50 year old woman be attractive?
Age is only one aspect in beauty and attractiveness; there are many more, such as physical appearance, personality, self-confidence, and personal preferences. The fact that someone is 50 years old does not disqualify them from being viewed as beautiful by many others, who find persons of various ages attractive.
What is it called when a guy likes a girl older than him?
If they’re both adults it’s a May/December romance. She’s called a cougar and he’s often called a boy toy.
Are 70 year old females sexually active?
Talk with a healthcare professional – Underlying conditions, medications, and treatments may cause symptoms that can affect a person’s sexual function. People should consult with a healthcare professional if they are concerned about the potential sexual side effects of their condition or medications they are taking.
lower stress levels better healing after surgeryreduced risk of depressionlower blood pressure boosts oxytocin levelsencouraging healthier behaviorslonger lifespan
A person or a couple may also find it helpful to talk with a therapist or a certified sex therapist, These professionals have special training to help older adults with sexual issues and offer support and techniques based on a person or couple’s individual needs.
- People should discuss their needs with healthcare professionals who can refer them to appropriate organizations.
- The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) also offers resources for people considering mental health support.
- Learn more about online couples therapy.
- Sexual activity and intimacy are essential throughout life.
Many older females continue to be sexually active in their 70s and 80s. While bodily changes and health challenges can affect how older adults perform sex, many strategies can help individuals maintain a satisfying and enjoyable sex life. This includes exploring nonpenetrative sex and using sex toys.
Are older woman attracted to younger guys?
Why some older women like younger men –
Older women can be attracted to younger men because they are in peak physical condition and are a natural fit for an energetic lifestyle. Women who have remained motivated to take care of their health and stay fit could want to date a man who is a decade younger but looks almost their age. Because of her greater relationship experience, an older woman may feel more capable of handling the ups and downs of a relationship, especially if she has been able to transform her insecurities into learning experiences for both her and her young lover Because she has more experience in the bedroom, she may feel she can mold him into exactly the kind of lover she wants and have her ideal sex life. Dating often gets progressively difficult for women as they age. Many older women date younger guys simply because most men of their age are either married, in a relationship, or not interested in dating. Older women are often financially stable and independent than their younger male partners. There may be an exciting thrill of taking the lead and being able to control financial matters, such as buying her younger lover gifts, taking him out on dates, and even taking him shopping. Younger men in their 20s have fewer things to worry about, which can make them more fun-loving and spontaneous. An older woman may look forward to dating a younger man because it feeds her ego and self-esteem. An older woman may have a nurturing nature, which the young man fulfills.
At what age are you sexually attracted?
Sexual Cognitions – Cognitive markers of sexual desire emerge during early puberty, including identifiable sexual thoughts and sexual attractions. About 25% of young adults report “thinking a lot about sex” as 11–12 year olds (both boys and girls) ( Larsson & Svedin, 2002 ).
Based on reports of fourth- and fifth grade (ages 9–11 years) American boys and girls, 16% reported self-relevant sexual thoughts ( Butler, Miller, Holtgrave, Forehand, & Long, 2006 ). In a sample of Spanish boys and girls, about 6% of 9–10 year old boys reported sexual fantasies, increasing to 66% among 13–14 year olds.
Among girls, 15% of 13–14 year olds reported fantasies, with none reported by 9–10 and 11–12 year olds ( Arnal & Llario, 2006 ). Prospective studies suggest that sexual cognitions become evident over a short period of time, perhaps as little as 3 months ( Mary A.
- Ott & Elizabeth J.
- Pfeiffer, 2009 ).
- If expressed interest in sex is a marker of sexual desire, less than 2% of 9–10 year old boys express an interest in having sexual intercourse, but this proportion is 12% among 13–14 year olds.
- This proportion is 2% or less for girls ( Arnal & Llario, 2006 ).
- Adult men have more frequent sexual cognitions than women, but these differences may be small and more related to erotophilia ( Fisher, Moore, & Pittenger, 2012 ) and this sort of study has not been done in adolescents.
The hormonal and neural organizational basis for the emergence of sexual cognitions is unclear. Affective brain centers – for example, the nucleus accumbens and amygdala – play key roles in social information processing brain networks that are extensively reorganized during puberty ( Nelson, Leibenluft, McClure, & Pine, 2005 ) These brain regions have large populations of gonadal steroid receptors and are linked to changes in sexual behavior ( Ernst et al., 2009 ; Romeo et al., 2002 ).
- Total testosterone modestly correlates (r=0.28) to sexual fantasies in pubertal boys, but does not predict fantasies in models that include onset of spontaneous nocturnal ejaculations and age ( Campbell, Prossinger, & Mbzivo, 2005 ).
- Testosterone is also associated with frequency of sexual thoughts in young women ( Udry, Talbert, & Morris, 1986 ).
Testosterone – presumably acting through androgen receptors in the limbic system and other brain areas – likely is also associated with changes in social information processing associated with romantic and sexual cognitions ( Ein-Dor & Hirschberger, 2012 ; Raznahan et al., 2010 ).
- Other evidence of sexual cognitions among younger adolescents comes from research focused on sexual abstinence.
- Attitudes and behavioral intentions around sexual abstinence and other sexual behaviors appear early in adolescence ( Arnal & Llario, 2006 ; M.A.
- Ott & E.J.
- Pfeiffer, 2009 ), often expressed in concert with cognitions about sexuality and sexual behavior ( Masters, Beadnell, Morrison, Hoppe, & Gillmore, 2008 ).
Younger adolescents define abstinence as a normal element of a continuum that uses “developmental readiness” as a standard for motivated decisions about shifting from sexually abstinent activity to sexual activity ( M.A. Ott, Pfeiffer, & Fortenberry, 2006 ).
- Many adolescents’ definitions of abstinence include masturbation as well as partnered sexual interactions ( Byers, Henderson, & Hobson, 2009 ; Planes et al., 2009 ).
- Stronger attitudes about abstinence are associated with increased likelihood of abstinence over time, and high levels of intentions to engage in sexual activity are associated with increased levels of sexual activity ( Masters et al., 2008 ).
This suggests that adolescents’ sexual cognitions reflect choices about sexual behavior, and supports conceptualizing abstinence as a sexual behavior.