Contents
- 1 Why does it hurt my wife after we make love?
- 2 Why do some people cry after making love?
- 3 What is the most painful feeling in love?
- 4 When a man cries while making love?
- 5 When a man hurts a woman deeply?
- 6 Do guys feel anything when they make their girlfriends cry?
- 7 What is the saddest part of love?
- 8 How much does love really hurt?
Why does it hurt my wife after we make love?
Painful sex in women – Women can experience pain during or after sex, either in the vagina or deeper in the pelvis. Pain in the vagina could be caused by:
an infection – thrush or a sexually transmitted infection (STI), such as chlamydia, gonorrhoea or genital herpes the menopause – changing hormone levels can make your vagina drylack of sexual arousal at any age vaginismus – a condition where muscles in or around the vagina shut tightly, making sex painful or impossiblegenital irritation or allergy caused by spermicides, latex condoms or products such as soap and shampoo
Pain felt inside the pelvis can be caused by conditions such as:
pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) endometriosis fibroids growing near your vagina or cervix irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) constipation
Is it normal to feel pain when making love?
Pain during intercourse is very common —nearly 3 out of 4 women have pain during intercourse at some time during their lives. For some women, the pain is only a temporary problem; for others, it is a long-term problem.
Why do some people cry after making love?
There’s nothing quite like the feelings of elation, release, and tranquility that follow an incredible orgasm, whether you climaxed with someone you’re really into or during a satisfying solo session, So then why do some of us inexplicably cry after orgasm, even if the experience is great? What’s happening in the body that can lead to such divergent reactions? One 2020 survey of 223 women and 76 men found that nearly 92% of people reported having an emotional reaction after sex over the course of four weeks.
Women were most likely to report mood swings and sadness, while men reported reduced energy and unhappiness. And nearly 34% of these people said they only experienced these feelings after orgasm. “During orgasm, we are in a body and mind trance or flow experience,” Sari Cooper, LCSW, AASECT-certified sex therapist, director of the Center for Love and Sex, and founder of coaching program Sex Esteem, tells SELF.
“A person may be reminded of hurts, disappointments, or fears of separation through this intensely bonding experience.” For many people, crying after orgasm is nothing more than a surprising and fleeting reaction. But for some, it could be signaling deeper emotions that are begging to be explored.
What is the most painful feeling in love?
When you love someone but they don’t reciprocate your feelings back, that unmatched feeling can be incredibly heartbreaking. When you give your entire heart out to someone, but they just don’t feel the same, your dreams and hopes can be shattered into a million pieces making way for ‘ unrequited love ‘ to be etched onto your heart forever.
Is unrequited love what you think it to be? Yes. Unrequited love is a type of romantic love where one person has deep feelings for another person who does not reciprocate those feelings. In simple and honest words, it is a one-sided love affair. You may experience a strong desire to be with the other person, but the person you want to be with doesn’t feel the same.
One can’t force a person to love and so, the one who unconditionally loves someone, can’t force the latter to love them back. And hence, the experience of unrequited love can be very painful. When someone is in love with another person, they often have a powerful emotional connection.
- They invest a lot of time and energy into the relationship.
- And when these aspects, (which may seem tiny but isn’t at all) aren’t returned, it can leave the person feeling rejected, hurt, and unimportant.
- And feeling rejected and unimportant can be possibly one of the most heart-rending feelings ever.
Another reason why unrequited love is so painful is that it can trigger feelings of low self-worth. When someone loves another person who does not feel the same way, it can make them question their own value and worth as a person. They may wonder why they are not good enough or why the other person does not see them in the same way.
- The person can spiral down into an abyss of self-neglect, hatred and even depression.
- Love is a powerful feeling that can either enrich a person with all kinds of happiness or completely make them crumble into painful little pieces.
- Unrequited love can also create a sense of loss and grief.
- When someone invests time and energy into a relationship, it becomes a part of their identity.
When that relationship is not reciprocated, it can feel like a loss of that part of their identity, which can be incredibly difficult to come to terms with. In addition to these emotional challenges, unrequited love can also create physical problems. You may experience deep stress and anxiety of not knowing whether or not the other person likes you back.
You may also be anxious and extremely sad knowing that the person doesn’t love you back. This can cause loss of appetite, sleep disturbances and believe it or not, even a slight pang of pain in the chest. Coping with unrequited love is very difficult. Everyone faces rejection at some point in life. Moving on is not an immediate option for many as people tend to dwell on the sadness for a long time until they are emotionally and mentally ready to love someone else again.
Those who are wondering, is it possible to move on from unrequited love—yes, it is. You can take your time, whether it is days, weeks, months or even years to move on from the person and finally be happy with yourself. When you start loving yourself, the hole left in your heart will finally be filled.
What is the most painful part in a relationship?
Pity. See, there many things in a relationship which can hurt such as trust break, disregard for respect, and what not. But, what I believe is most hurtful is pity. It is often found that one of the partners fall out of love but decide to not disclose it to the other because it will hurt them.
Why does my girlfriend cry when we make love?
If you’ve ever cried during or after sex, know that it’s perfectly normal and you’re not alone. They might be happy tears, tears of relief, or a bit of melancholy. Tears during or after sex can also be a purely physical reaction. It’s science Clinically speaking, crying after sex is known as postcoital dysphoria (PCD) or — occasionally — postcoital tristesse (PCT).
PCD symptoms may include tearfulness, sadness, and irritability after consensual sex, even if it was perfectly satisfying. PCD doesn’t necessarily have to involve an orgasm. It can happen to anyone, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. Research on the topic is limited, so it’s hard to say how many people experience it.
In a 2015 study, researchers surveyed 230 heterosexual females and found PCD to be prevalent. Using an anonymous questionnaire for a 2018 study, researchers found that of 1,208 males, 41 percent experienced PCD. Up to 4 percent said it was a regular thing.
- Follow along as we look into some reasons someone might cry during or after sex and what to do if it happens to you or your partner.
- A range of emotions can evoke crying, and they’re not all bad.
- You’ve probably experienced or witnessed “tears of joy,” such as at a wedding or birth of a child.
- The same thing can happen during or after sex.
Maybe you’re head over heels in love, or perhaps you just had the best sex ever. If you haven’t had sex in a while or anticipated it for a long time, these feelings can be even more intense. Did you get totally lost in the moment? Were you role-playing or fantasizing during sex? These scenarios can rev up tension and create an emotional roller coaster.
You might have quickly bounced from anticipation to fear to ecstasy before crashing back down to earth. Tears may mean you’re simply overwhelmed by the thrill of it all. If you’re bothered by the crying response, you can try toning the scenario down a bit to see if that helps. Did you just have the biggest orgasm of your life? Was it your first experience with multiple orgasms ? Intense physical sexual pleasure can definitely overwhelm, and it’s not surprising that you would cry.
Conversely, you might be overwhelmed by your body’s lack of response. If you’ve been looking forward to great sex and don’t get the ending you want, you might be frustrated and tense enough to cry. Some estimates suggest that anywhere from 32 to 46 percent of females experience PCD.
- But there hasn’t been a lot of research to determine why.
- It may be due to hormonal changes that happen during sex, which can lead to intense emotions.
- Crying may also be a mechanism for reducing tension and intense physical arousal.
- If you’re coming off a dry spell, suddenly letting go of all that pent-up sexual energy could certainly bring you to tears.
Sometimes, it’s purely physical. There are many reasons you might experience pain with sex, Painful intercourse is called dyspareunia, which includes pain during or after intercourse due to:
lack of lubricationtrauma or irritation of the genitalsurinary tract or vaginal infectioneczema or other skin conditions near the genitalsvaginal muscle spasms, called vaginismus congenital abnormalities
Physical pain associated with sex can be treated, so make an appointment with your doctor. If sex play involves restraints or any level of pain that you’re not comfortable with, talk to your partner about how to role-play without causing physical pain.
Find the level that works for both of you. Crying is a natural reaction to stress, fear, and anxiety, When you’re feeling anxious in general, it’s hard to put that aside to have sex. Your body may be going through the motions, but your mind is elsewhere. You might find yourself in tears over it. Could it be that you have a touch of performance anxiety ? You might be worried about whether you satisfied your partner or whether you lived up to expectations.
All that anxiety can open the floodgates and get tears rolling. There are a lot of reasons you might feel such shame or guilt over sex that it makes you cry. At some point in your life, someone may have told you that sex is inherently bad, especially in certain contexts.
You don’t have to buy into these theories to have them pop into your head at inopportune moments. You might be uncomfortable with what you see as “animal” behavior, “kinky” sex, or lack of impulse control. You could have body image issues or dread the prospect of being seen naked. Shame and guilt can also be residual effects of other issues within the relationship that follow you into the bedroom.
Confusion after sex isn’t all that unusual. It may be due to the sex itself. Was it a case of mixed signals? You thought things would go one way but they veered off in another direction? You told them you dislike something but they did it anyway? You thought you were giving pleasure but they’re obviously unsatisfied or upset? Unresolved issues and emotional confusion from a relationship can invade your sex life.
- You might have different ideas about where the relationship stands or how the other person really feels about you.
- Sex doesn’t always turn out great.
- Sometimes one or both of you are left confused and disappointed.
- If you find yourself crying frequently it could be a sign of depression or other mental health condition that should be addressed.
Other signs of depression can include:
sadnessfrustration, irritability, or anger anxiety difficulty sleeping, restlessness, or fatigueloss of concentration or memoryappetite changesunexplained aches and painsloss of interest in normal activities, including sex
The rate of PCD is higher for those with postpartum depression, That may be due to rapid fluctuations in hormone levels. If you’re a survivor of sexual assault, certain movements or positions may trigger painful memories. This can make you feel particularly vulnerable and tears would be an understandable reaction.
If this has become a frequent problem, you may want to take a break from sex. Consider seeing a qualified therapist who can help you work on coping skills. For physical pain or discomfort just prior to, during, or after sex, see a doctor. Many causes of this type of pain are treatable. Otherwise, think about the reasons for crying.
Here are some questions to ask yourself in the moment:
Was it just a few stray tears or was I truly crying?Did it feel physical or emotional? What was going through my mind when it started? Were my thoughts pleasant or disturbing?Was I reliving an abusive event or relationship?Did crying relieve tension or add to it?
If your answers tend toward being overwhelmed with love or pure physical pleasure, then you probably don’t need to worry about it. Shedding a few tears or even all-out blubbering doesn’t always merit a change. If your answers point toward emotional issues within the relationship or in the bedroom, here are a few things to try:
Give it time. Go over these questions again the next day when you have some time to yourself and can fully explore your feelings. Talk to your partner. Working on relationship issues can clear the air and enhance your sex life. Talk about sex. Discuss your sexual likes and dislikes. Be careful not to criticize, but to encourage sharing of feelings and ideas with the intention of enriching your sexual experiences. It can be awkward, but it’s worth doing.
If this process brings up painful trauma or unresolved emotions, don’t dismiss crying as unimportant. Seeing your partner cry can be a little disconcerting, so:
Ask if something is wrong, but try not to belittle or sound accusatory. Offer comfort, but respect their wishes if they need some space. Bring it up later, outside the heat of the moment. Listen respectfully. Don’t force the issue if they still don’t want to discuss it. Don’t push sex on them.Ask how you can help.
Basically, just be there for them. Crying during or after sex isn’t unusual and, while it’s usually not cause for alarm, it can be a sign of deeper issues that should be addressed. If this happens regularly, you may find it helpful to speak with a therapist about what you’re experiencing. They can help you unpack the reason for your tears and potentially work through any underlying concerns.
When a man cries while making love?
During intercourse our body releases hormones, such as oxytocin and dopamine, that bring feelings of pleasure and connection to our partner. Sexual intimacy and feeling of happiness can trigger tears. Crying is often a reaction to an overwhelming feeling of emotion, whether that emotion is positive or negative.
What is the most painful thing in marriage?
Extramarital Affairs: One of the things that can be most painful in marriage is the discovery that the spouse had or is having an affair. The hurt or pain of a betrayed spouse combines all the emotional damages wrought by an extremely traumatic event caused by someone you put so much trust on.
When a man hurts a woman deeply?
Conclusion – When a man hurts a woman he loves, he feels emotions such as anger, guilt, frustration, self-loathe, fear, etc. Although he may not express his feelings confidently, a man will show signs he is sorry for hurting you or signs he knows he hurt you.
What does true love feel like?
You feel like a complete individual – Your partner shouldn’t “complete” you; in fact, feeling that way is a good sign that you’re more in the infatuation phase than true love. Love happens between two whole people, which is why Carroll refers to it as “wholehearted love.” Both people are free to be their whole selves.
Does true love hurt sometimes?
Love Can Hurt, No Matter How Healthy Your Relationship Is – Sometimes it’s easier to pinpoint a toxic relationship than it is a healthy one. You know the big warning signs, even if you may not always realize when they apply to you. But what makes a healthy relationship? Is it okay if you argue sometimes? Even if you find yourself crying, or even hurting? Turns out yes, it’s normal for love to hurt.
Why do I love her so much?
Skip to content Love is a beautiful and powerful emotion that has the ability to touch our lives in profound ways. When we find someone special who captures our heart, it’s important to express our love and appreciation for them. In this blog post, we will explore 10 heartfelt reasons why I love you, celebrating the unique qualities and experiences that make our relationship so meaningful.
Your Genuine Kindness: From the moment I met you, your genuine kindness and compassion have shone through. Your ability to empathize with others and offer a helping hand is truly remarkable. It’s one of the many reasons why I fell in love with you. Your Infectious Laughter: Your laughter is like music to my ears. It has the power to brighten even the darkest of days and bring a smile to my face. Your joyful spirit is contagious, and I cherish every moment we share laughter together. Your Unconditional Support: No matter what dreams or goals I pursue, you have always been my biggest supporter. Your unwavering belief in me and your encouragement to reach for the stars has given me the strength and confidence to overcome any obstacles. Your Beautiful Soul: Beyond your physical appearance, it is your beautiful soul that captivates me. Your genuine and caring nature radiates from within, making you truly special. Your inner beauty is what I cherish most about you. Your Ability to Make me Feel Safe: In your arms, I find solace and comfort. Your presence has a calming effect on me, and I know that with you, I am safe. You create a space where I can be myself without fear or judgment, and that is a gift I cherish. Your Sense of Adventure: With you, every day is an adventure. Your zest for life and willingness to explore new experiences ignite a sense of excitement within me. Whether we are embarking on a grand adventure or simply trying something new, your adventurous spirit inspires me. Your Thoughtfulness: Your thoughtfulness is evident in the little things you do. From surprise gestures to remembering the smallest details, you constantly show me how much you care. Your thoughtfulness makes me feel cherished and loved. Your Ability to Make me Better: Being with you has made me a better person. Your influence and support have helped me grow and evolve in ways I never thought possible. You inspire me to be the best version of myself, and for that, I am eternally grateful. Your Unwavering Loyalty: Through thick and thin, you have stood by my side. Your unwavering loyalty and commitment to our relationship are qualities I deeply admire. Knowing that I have your love and support gives me strength and reassurance. Your Love is Home: Above all else, the reason why I love you is because your love feels like home. With you, I have found a place where I am understood, accepted, and cherished. Your love fills my heart with warmth and happiness, and I am grateful every day for the love we share.
Here are some texts you can send: “I love”
Your infectious laughter. The way you make me feel safe. Your unwavering support. The warmth of your hugs. Your genuine smile. Your kindness towards others. The way you listen attentively. Your unwavering loyalty. Your gentle touch. Your ability to make me laugh even on my darkest days. Your passion for life. Your beautiful eyes that sparkle. The way you understand me without words. Your thoughtful gestures. Your optimism that brightens my world. Your creativity and imagination. Your courage to face challenges. The way you inspire me to be a better person. Your ability to make any place feel like home. Your unique sense of style. Your love for adventure. The way you make even the simplest moments memorable. Your comforting presence. Your ability to forgive and let go. Your unwavering belief in me. Your dedication and hard work. Your ability to find joy in the little things. Your ability to make my worries disappear. The way you make me feel beautiful. Your incredible cooking skills. The way you make every day feel like a celebration. Your patience during difficult times. Your ability to make me feel understood. Your infectious enthusiasm. The way you make me feel like the luckiest person in the world. Your strength to overcome obstacles. Your genuine interest in my passions and dreams. Your willingness to compromise and find common ground. The way you light up a room when you enter. Your contagious love for life. Your ability to make me feel calm and at peace. The way you challenge me to be the best version of myself. Your adorable quirks that make you unique. The way you remember the little details. Your unwavering honesty. Your ability to make me feel like I can conquer the world. The way you make me feel cherished. Your comforting words during difficult times. Your unwavering loyalty and dedication to our relationship. The way you make me feel like I belong. Your generosity towards others. Your intelligence and wisdom. The way you make me feel like everything will be alright. Your ability to make even the simplest moments special. Your thoughtfulness in surprises and gifts. The way you make me feel strong and empowered. Your incredible memory for special occasions. Your selflessness and willingness to put others first. Your unwavering belief in the power of love. The way you make me feel like I’m the only person in the room. Your ability to make me laugh until my stomach hurts. Your encouragement and support in pursuing my dreams. Your ability to find beauty in the world around us. The way you make even the most mundane tasks fun. Your infectious energy. Your willingness to try new things. The way you make me feel like I can be myself completely. Your ability to make even the toughest situations feel manageable. Your unwavering loyalty to our love story. The way you make me feel like I’m home whenever I’m with you. Your incredible singing voice. Your ability to make me feel like the most important person in your life. The way you make every day an adventure. Your ability to find beauty in the simplest of moments. Your unconditional love and acceptance. The way you make my heart skip a beat. Your dedication to personal growth and self-improvement. Your ability to make the world a better place with your kindness. Your incredible patience with me. The way you make me feel like I can conquer any challenge. Your ability to make even the most mundane activities enjoyable. Your infectious enthusiasm for life’s possibilities. The way you make me feel like I’m floating on air. Your gentle and nurturing nature. Your ability to make me feel like I’m the luckiest person alive. Your incredible dancing skills. The way you make even the simplest gestures feel grand. Your genuine interest in my happiness and well-being. Your ability to make even the toughest days brighter. Your incredible resilience in the face of adversity. The way you make me feel like I can conquer my fears. Your ability to make me feel like I’m part of something greater. Your unwavering belief in the power of love and compassion. The way you make me feel like I’m the only person who matters. Your incredible fashion sense. Your ability to make any place feel like a sanctuary. Your infectious laughter that brightens my day. The way you make even the simplest gestures feel extraordinary. Your dedication to our relationship and making it thrive. Your ability to make me feel like I can achieve anything I set my mind to. Your incredible problem-solving skills. The way you make me feel like I’m the most important person in your world. Your unwavering belief in my abilities. Your ability to make even the toughest challenges feel like opportunities. Your incredible artistic talents. The way you make every day feel like a new beginning. Your ability to make me feel safe and protected. Your unwavering loyalty and commitment to our love. The way you make me feel like the center of your universe. Your incredible storytelling skills. Your ability to make even the simplest moments feel magical. Your unconditional love that knows no bounds. The way you make even the most ordinary days extraordinary. Your incredible adaptability and flexibility. Your ability to make me feel like I’m the only person who truly understands you. Your unwavering dedication to our shared dreams and goals. The way you make even the toughest situations feel manageable with your calmness. Your incredible eye for beauty in the world. Your ability to make every moment with you feel like an adventure. Your infectious curiosity and thirst for knowledge. The way you make me feel like I can face any obstacle with you by my side. Your incredible writing skills. Your ability to make even the most mundane tasks feel exciting. Your unconditional acceptance of all my flaws and imperfections. The way you make even the simplest meals taste extraordinary. Your incredible talent for making others feel special and loved. Your ability to make me feel like the most beautiful person in the world. Your unwavering belief in the power of love to heal and transform. The way you make even the toughest days brighter with your presence. Your incredible sense of humor that never fails to make me laugh. Your ability to make even the most difficult decisions with grace and confidence. Your unwavering dedication to our shared values and principles. The way you make me feel like I’m the most cherished person in your life. Your incredible knowledge and wisdom. Your ability to make even the simplest moments feel profound. Your unconditional support and encouragement in all my endeavors. The way you make even the most ordinary days feel extraordinary. Your incredible strength in facing life’s challenges head-on. Your ability to make me feel like I’m the luckiest person in the universe. Your unwavering love that fills my heart with joy and gratitude.
Sending multiple? Then say, “I hope these reasons capture the depth of my love for you.” Love is a journey filled with countless reasons to celebrate and cherish the person who holds our heart. We explored heartwarming “reasons why I love you” (or why you love your SO :]). We hope these help capture your love and help you express it!
When a girl cries what happens to her heart?
This Is What Happens to Your Body When You Cry Wet face. Red eyes. Smudged mascara. It’s pretty easy to tell when someone’s been crying. What’s not so clear? Why your body thinks sending salty liquid out of your eyes is an appropriate response to hearing that song that always reminds you of your ex.
- Does the world really need to know that you get that bent out of shape over Ed Sheeran? Turns out, what happens when you cry is the result of an interesting chain reaction in your body.
- And once the process is triggered, it’s pretty hard to close the floodgates.
- Here’s a look at what goes on in your body when you cry—and the weird reason why you’ll probably feel better after your sobfest is over.
You feel an intense emotion—and the signals in your brain start flying. Maybe you just got some really, Or your boss just dumped a ton of extra work on your plate, and you’re super overwhelmed. Or you just met your adorable baby niece for the first time.
Hardcore emotions like sadness, anger,, and even extreme happiness are processed in your body as a sign of danger, as if you were being chased by a bad guy or are about to be eaten by a bear. In the face of intense circumstances, the amygdala, an area of the brain that controls emotional processing, sends a signal to the hypothalamus—a pea-sized gland in your brain that’s connected to your autonomic nervous system, explains Ray Chan, M.D., an ophthalmologist at Texas Health Arlington Memorial Hospital.
The autonomic nervous system handles functions that you don’t have any control over, like body temperature, hunger, thirst, and yup—crying. Your heart starts to race, and you feel that lump in your throat. The autonomic nervous system jump-starts the sympathetic nervous system and accelerates the fight-or-flight response.
To help you prepare for impending doom, the fight-or-flight response tries to stop you from performing any nonessential functions, like eating or drinking. As a result, it causes your glottis—the opening between the vocal chords in your throat—to swell up, making your throat feel full and tight. “The body is trying to protect you so you don’t accidentally get any in your lungs,” says Patricia Salber, M.D., founder of,
With your fight-or-flight system fully alerted, you might also experience other symptoms normally associated with sheer terror. Your heart rate might increase, your lips start to quiver, and your voice gets shaky. Then the waterworks begin to flow. All this emotion tells your hypothalamus to produce the chemical messenger acetylcholine.
- Acetylcholine binds to receptors in your brain that send signals to the lachrymal glands—small glands that live beneath the bony rim of your eyes, explains Dr. Chan.
- When these glands are stimulated, they start to produce tears.
- If you only shed a few, they might drain back into your punctums—the tiny tear duct openings at the inner corners of your eyes.
But that reservoir fills up pretty quickly. And when it does, the tears will start to drip out of your eyes and stream down your face, Dr. Salber says. The tears will also start to flood your nasal cavity and come out of your nose. : This Is What Happens to Your Body When You Cry
Do guys feel anything when they make their girlfriends cry?
Of course they do, they’re human. As long as the guy doesn’t have a diagnosis that makes him unable to feel empathy, he will feel bad for making his girlfriend cry. Anyone feels bad about making anyone cry!
Why does my girlfriend crying make me hard?
When it comes to getting turned on there really is no ‘normal’, you feel what you feel and experience what you experience. Having said that, it’s not at all uncommon. Being turned on by crying is well enough known to have a name – dacryphilia. You could try and figure out why you feel aroused.
What is the saddest part of love?
The saddest thing is that love does not mean the relationship will survive. Love is not enough. You can love someone and yet they are totally incompatible with you. You can love someone but not be able to get past the bad stuff they’ve done.
What is the hardest part in love?
The hardest part of loving is letting go. It is hard, because love makes us want to hold on. Well actually, it is not the love that makes us hold on, it is the fear of losing it. When we love someone, or something, that presence in our lives makes us happy.
- We never want it to go away.
- However, nothing is permanent, so eventually we must deal with the changes that time brings.
- As parents, we wish our children would not grow up so fast.
- For the most part, this is because when they are little, they are so cute and adorable.
- Another, perhaps more unsettling reason is that when they grow up, we get older! Eventually they will leave us, and an important part of life will be behind us.
Eventually they may be physically more separate, but their love can still be with us. We have to let them go, and we cannot demand to be a part of their lives. If it happens, its wonderful, but the love we hold for them should not depend on how much they do for us, or how much time they spend with us.
- We let go of the child, but not the love.
- Sometimes, in friendships and relationships, the love does go away.
- Things change, and the feelings are not the same.
- This is when letting go gets really difficult.
- If you are the one who still wants the relationship, you feel the pain of rejection and abandonment.
If you are the one who needs to let it go, then you may carry the burden of responsibility for the pain of the other. The irony is that if we truly love another human being, we must release him or her when it is time for them to go. We must do this whether they are moving on within this world, or beyond it.
- We really have little control over the itinerary of another soul’s journey.
- We may promise to love forever, or never to leave, but life sometimes has a way of changing our plans.
- We would be so much better off if we assumed that children, friends or partners will not always be with us.
- We would probably value them more, be more individually self-sufficient and be less devastated when the happily- ever- after fantasy ends.
In a sense we are like flowers in a garden: we are born, we blossom, and ultimately die, all in our own time. We share a journey in space and time. We can neither stand still, nor hold another still for more than a fleeting moment. That is why we must celebrate the moments, both painful and joyful.
How much does love really hurt?
Love Can Hurt Just As Much As Physical Pain – But is it possible to love someone so much it physically hurts? Geoff MacDonald, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Toronto, thinks so. But, he tells Broadly, that pain is usually an indication that something is missing.
- When you’re actually getting everything you want, that’s just joy at that point.
- I think the pain comes in when there’s some degree to which you love them but you’re not getting everything from that relationship you wanted.
- And then you can see how the pain mechanism becomes functional—it’s going to draw your attention to that.” Emotions are not some mysterious ghost-like thing.
Emotions are a physical phenomenon. From an evolutionary perspective, he explains, it makes sense that relationships might provoke reactions from the same areas involved with physical pain. “If an animal has a new survival challenge, the most efficient way to adapt that is to use some kind of physiological system that’s already there in that animal.” Eventually, when it became important for humans to be connected to others, these pain systems were co-opted to make us feel bad when things aren’t going well socially.